~ Ceremonies Including Children ~

Ceremonies that Include Children

Ceremonies including children is very popular, because many of my couples are parents. How to include children in your wedding ceremony has much to do with the children themselves. Young Flower Girls and Ring Bearers are the most precious little things on two legs. But understand that they are wild cards in the deck, who usually perform pretty close to task with the little deviations in plan being usually well received. Ceremonies including children are usually smaller ceremonies within the wedding ceremony just for them.

~ New Sibling Vows ~

“Gabriel and Evan, you have always been the most important part of your dad and mom‘s life, and they are so proud of you both. Today they are making a promise to one another. It is a promise that what ever may happen, good or bad, that they will always be there for one another. This promise is also a promise to you. You are already a family. They love you with all their hearts, and no matter how big you get or where life takes you, they want you to know that that‘s forever.

Have either of you ever been married before? I‘m going to ask you a very important question now…..

Gabriel, do you take Evan to be your brother?”

Gabriel: “Yes.”

Evan, do you take Gabriel to be your brother?”

Evan: “Yes.”

“From today on you are officially brothers. May you grow together, play together, share your mom and dad freely with one another, and may God bless your family always.”
see video of this

Ceremonies that Include Children

This little man is from Jessica and Shawn‘s wedding ceremony at the Riviera in Massapequa. Doesn’t it look like he has just orchestrated the whole thing and is raising his arms for a laugh crescendo? ~ photo by Duet

~ Children’s Gift Ceremony ~

“Often marriage is viewed as the union of two persons.Yet marriages not only unite the Bride and the Groom, they unite families. With the changing structure of what a family is in today’s world we are offered unique and wonderful opportunities to increase the number of loving caring relationships we have in our lives. During a wedding ceremony rings are exchanged with a promise. Karen and John thought appropriate that their children should also receive a token of their promise to them this day. They wanted to find a way to let them know now how special and wonderful they all are in their own way, and how blessed they feel to be her parents. They also wanted them to have a physical reminder for the future that as they grow and become young men and women in their own rite, that their parents will always support them. There may come times when there are things going on in their lives that they may feel no other human would ever understand,

addressing children

but there is nothing that any of you can ever say that will not be met with unconditional love. So is the bond of trust that your parents establish with one another, and extend to all of you this day.”

Children step forward and receive their gift


Beth and Joe, had these 2 little cuties working the “Here Comes The Bride” on the way in and “Just Married” signs on the way out!

~ Family Unity Candle ~

“Beth and Kim as a demonstration of your love and support of this marriage, will you now step up to the altar and light candles representing the separate families and family histories that are also today to be joined together as one?

Bride and Groom’s mothers come behind the altar and light the tapers representing their family then return to their seats

Michelle and Alex, will you now come to the altar as Husband and Wife?

Bride and Groom step behind the altar

The flame that your mothers have lit for you represents more than their blessing alone. It also speaks of the spark of divinity that lives deep within you both. It is a reminder that in marriage it is your higher selves that you are promising to one another and the very best that you have to give always. From every human being there rises a light. When two souls destined for each other, find one another, their streams of light flow together and a single brighter light goes forth from the united being. These two candles are symbolic of separate people in their own right.

Bride and Groom pick up their tapers

By the joining of two candles into one,

Bride and Groom light the center candle

this symbolizes the strength and the unity of two joining together to become one, depicting Michelle and Alex’s belief that together they can become greater than each could be alone.

Bride and Groom place the tapers back in their holders

Prior to this moment you each walked a separate path. Now as the Unity Candle symbolizes, you shall embark together on a shared path. Yet the journey is not your alone, for you have already been blessed with three beautiful children, and it is the strength of your love that shall nourish you all together as a family. Joshua, Sandy and Kyle will you join us in lighting the Family candle?

Children step up to the altar and together with their parents, they light ‘The Family Candle’ the shorter pillar that sits in front of the Unity Candle. Leaving the tapers lit they encircle the two center pillars as a sign of support and individuality within the unity of family

The past the present and the future are all here, in glowing tribute, as a reminder that there is nothing more sacred than the bond that you all share as a family.”

(If not including all 3 generations then we just edit to what works)


Ceremonies including children, show them they are a part of the marriage. The family sand ceremony makes it fun for kids to participate and gives them a visual to see that as the grains of sand are all together in a single vessel… so are families joined in marriage

~ Family Sand Ceremony ~

“Brianna and Leo, will you come join us?

children come forward

You know that being your parents has always been the most important part of your mom and dad’s lives and they are so proud of you, of all of your accomplishments and of the young man and woman you are so rapidly becoming. You have truly been the greatest gift and blessing that they could ever have asked for. The symbolism of the sand ceremony is the same as the Unity Candle, two joining together to become one. The purple and white sand represent your mom and dad as individuals choosing to join together as one. The pink and green sand is there to represent you and your importance within their family. As the sand is poured it will make a pattern that is unique to Elaine and David as a couple, and to all of you as a family. Brianna and Leo, your sand will be at the center, at the heart of the vessel, as the family is the heart of a marriage. Will you all now please step to behind the table and pour your sand?”

Music begins and everyone steps behind the table
The couple intermingle half of their colored sand
children pour their sand
Couple intermingle the rest of their sand
The vessel is then sealed
Everyone returns to place as the music concludes


Marriage is all about family. Did you know that Flower Girls were traditionally kept closest to the Bride as a fertility symbol? How beautiful and how far more meaningful it is when that child is your own daughter.

~ Family Vows ~

“Anthony, Tina, Michelle, Samantha, Jerry, Leila and Thomas, being parents has always been one of the most important parts of your Mom and Dad’s lives. They are so proud of you and of all your accomplishments. Today they are making a promise to one another, a promise that no matter what may happen good or bad, that they will always be there for each other. This promise they make, it is also a promise to you. They love you with all their hearts, and no matter how old you get or where life takes you, they want you to know that that’s forever. Jerry will you make your family vow first?”

Jerry repeats after officiant: “Peggy, I promise to be a good and faithful partner to you, and also a patient, loving father to Anthony, Tina, and Michelle, caring for and providing for them as my own. I promise to be their strength and their emotional support, loving them with all my heart forever.”

Peggy repeats after officiant; “Jerry, I promise to be a good and faithful partner to you, and also a patient, loving mother to Samantha, Jerry, Leila and Thomas, caring for and providing for them as my own. I promise to be their strength and their emotional support, loving them with all my heart forever.”

“As an important part of a loving blended family do you Anthony, Tina, Michelle, Samantha, Jerry, Leila, and Thomas, promise to love and respect your parents and the lifetime commitment that they have made this day? Do you promise to support their relationship and this new family? Do you promise to accept the responsibility of being their children, and to do everything in your power to help this family to grow and thrive over time? If this is your intention please answer now “We do.”

Children: “We Do.”


Jeanne and Chris with their beautiful children. Photo by Sandy Rufo Photography

This is a post from our Rev. Aviva Sala, “Tonight, at the Carltun in Eisenhower Park, Jennifer and Anthony have a unique Love Lock ceremony as part of their vows. It’s a tree of life sculpture. Their parents will place their locks as the roots of the tree as they are the foundation for the family. The couple will place their locks at the base of the branches. Their children will place their locks on the leaves of the tree, as they are each unique like the leaves, and their parents hope their paths in life reach far and wide. The important thing to note… the locks have no keys, as these loving bonds can never be undone.


~ Clay Ceremony ~

This ceremony is from a baby blessing. It shows how to include siblings. It is worded for a young child and can be adapted for a wedding, but notice the tone. Kids should be spoken to in words they can connect with.
“Emma, you are a big sister now!
Your little brother loves you so much. It’s good that he has you to look up to, to teach him things, to protect him and be his friend. Nobody will ever know you like he will and you him. Would you like to help us make a present for him? Together, we are all going to make a gift for Charlie with this clay.
This clay represents your family and how important you all are in it. All of you will place your fingerprints in the clay as a tangible symbol of that family. The clay will harden, and Charlie will always have a symbol of his own unique family and your connection to one another.
Will you all please place your thumbs onto this clay and repeat after me:
Everyone places their thumbs in the clay
“We are a family and a family is love.”


Thumb Print Trees can be purchased or made!

~ Family Tree Ceremony ~

This ceremony is also from a baby blessing and can be adapted for a wedding. This one has everyone getting in on the participation!

“Today we celebrate family and family relationships. Sofia is truly blessed because the family waiting for her birth included a big brother, Colin, who is already a huge part of her life. He is the one who will know her better than anyone else, who will protect and guide her in ways that only a sibling can. Colin, will you join us?

Colin comes forward
Morgan and Cono wanted to include something in today’s ceremony to represent their family and this community. Fingerprints are unique to each of us as individuals. Yet we all have our roots in family and community. It is our roots that allow us to reach for the sky, and our individuality that allow us to truly shine. This tree represents this family and how important all of it’s members are in it.
Morgan, Cono, and Colin, will place your fingerprints and then Sofia’s fingerprints as leaves on the tree, as tangible symbol of this family.
Parents place their own 
and their daughter’s fingerprint in their Family Tree
After the ceremony I would like to invite everyone here to please place your fingerprint as a leaf on Sofia’s tree.”


Stack Family!!!! Roll that beautiful flower girl footage!

~ Food and Drink to The Soul of A Family ~

This ceremony is another option for ceremonies including children where the family shares both bread and drink together.

Chalice is held up for all to see

“The chalice is a symbol of Divine Love, the well spring or vessel of the heart, of rebirth, creation and limitless potentiality

Bride and Groom take the chalice They face each other, each with both hands on the chalice

Amber, drink of Jim’s love and let it touch your heart.

Groom gives Bride to drink. Bride drinks, they kiss.

Jim, drink of Amber’s love and let it resonate through to your soul.

Bride gives Groom to drink. Groom drinks, they kiss.

Drinking in of the promises that you make this day, ensures that neither of you shall ever again thirst for total love, acceptance, understanding or companionship. Now as you hold the chalice in your hands feel how great your love is for these children.

Groom and Bride put their feelings into the chalice

Brad and Christine drink of your parents love and know that you are as you have been, a family. They love you more than words can express, and as time goes by remember, you all drink from the same cup.

Groom and Bride, still holding chalice together, give their children to drink, The children drink, Parents kiss them, Couple gives chalice back

Bread is held up for all to see

Bread is representative of the Earth’s bounty. As food nourishes the body, so does love nourish the soul. In this manner so shall each of you be as sustenance to the other.

Groom and Bride take the bread They break off a piece of bread and together they feed each other. They kiss, then give each of the children bread and a kiss.

Remember now, as you feed each other, you will never again hunger in your heart or in your soul. For families eat from the same plate and if ever one should be lacking the others will have plenty to share”


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