~ Offbeat and Unique Wedding Readings ~
~ Charles Darwin on the Prospect of Marriage ~
“Our Bride and Groom have chosen to conclude their ceremony with a short reading. The following notes record Charles Darwin’s speculations about the prospect of marriage. The comments are excerpted directly from his notebook where he composed a short-hand list of pros and cons on whether to propose.
The following notes record Charles Darwin’s speculations about the prospect of marriage. The comments are excerpted directly from his notebook where he composed a short-hand list of pros and cons on whether to propose.
“This is the Question
Freedom to go where one likes
Conversation of clever men at clubs
Not forced to visit relatives and to bend in every trifle
To have the expense and anxiety of children
Loss of time
Cannot read in the Evenings
Fatness and idleness
Anxiety and responsibility
Less money for books
Children (if it pleases God)
Constant companion (& friend in old age)
who will feel interested in one
Object to be beloved and played with
Better than a dog anyhow
Charms of Music and Chit Chat
These things are good for one’s health
My God, it is unthinkable to think of spending one’s whole life,
working, working, and nothing after all
No, no won’t do
Imagine living all one’s days solitarily
Only picture to yourself a nice soft wife on a sofa
with good fire, and books and music
Compare this vision with dingy reality
Marry! Marry! Marry!”
~ From the writings of Bob Marley ~
“Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.”
~ From a letter by the late George Carlin ~
“The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways, but narrower viewpoints.
We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less.
We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time.
We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts,
yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.
We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late,
get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.
We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.
We’ve learned how to make a living, but not a life. We’ve added years to life not life to years.
We’ve been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor.
We conquered outer space but not inner space. We’ve done larger things, but not better things.
We’ve cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We’ve conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We’ve learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.
Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.
Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.
Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn’t cost a cent.
Remember, to say, “I love you” to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.
Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.
Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.”
~ Excerpts From Traditional Irish Toasts ~
“The Irish have always had a wonderfully humorous and practical way of looking at life. To reflect this, instead of an ordinary reading, Lauren and Cathal have chosen to include a few excerpts from some “Traditional Irish Toasts” in their ceremony.
May you live as long as you want
and never want as long as you live.
And may you be in heaven a full half hour
before the devil knows your dead.
May your heart be light and happy,
May your smile be big and wide,
And may your pockets always have
a coin or two inside!
Always remember to forget
The troubles that passed away.
But never forget to remember
The blessings that come each day.
May you always have a clean shirt, a clear conscience,
and enough coins in your pocket to buy a pint!
May the face of every good news
and the back of every bad news be towards us.
May neighbours respect you,
Trouble neglect you,
The angels protect you,
And heaven accept you.
May you have the hindsight to know where you’ve been,
The foresight to know where you are going,
And the insight to know when you have gone too far.
May the saddest day of your future
be no worse than the happiest day of your past.
May those that love us, love us.
And those that don’t love us,
May God turn their hearts.
And if he doesn’t turn their hearts,
May he turn their ankles,
So we’ll know them by their limping.
May misfortune follow you the rest of your life,
and never catch up.
May your mornings bring joy
and your evenings bring peace…
May your troubles grow less
as your blessings increase!
May you get all your wishes but one, so that you will always have something to strive for!’
Lauren and Cathal, as the years pass, I charge you both to remember to be considerate, tender, faithful, and loving partners. To comfort support, guide and cherish one another through both good and difficult times. To thoughtfully and carefully enlarge the place you hold in one another’s lives by giving evidence of your affection in ways large and small, loving one another always with an unchangeable love that will make your marriage something of rare and great beauty.
And as your reading teaches… I encourage you to remember that when life presents you with the choice to get mad or disillusioned… or to laugh… I hope you choose to laugh.”
~ Dr. Who ~
“Do you wanna come with me? ‘Cause if you do, then I should warn you — you’re gonna see all sorts of things. Ghosts from the past. Aliens from the future. The day the Earth died in a ball of flame. It won’t be quiet, it won’t be safe, and it won’t be calm. But I’ll tell you what it will be: the trip of a lifetime!” – The Ninth Doctor
~ From “Stardust” ~
by Neil Gaiman
“You know when I said I knew little about love? That wasn’t true. I know a lot about love. I’ve seen it, centuries and centuries of it, and it was the only thing that made watching your world bearable. All those wars — pain, lies, hate… It made me want to turn away and never look down again. But when I see the way that mankind loves… you could search to the furthest reaches of the universe and never find anything more beautiful. So yes, I know that love is unconditional. But I also know that it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable, and strangely easy to mistake for loathing, and… what I’m trying to say, Tristran is… I think I love you. Is this love, Tristran? I never imagined I’d know it for myself. My heart… it feels like my chest can barely contain it. Like it’s trying to escape because it doesn’t belong to me any more. It belongs to you. And if you wanted it, I’d wish for nothing in exchange: no gifts, no goods, no demonstrations of devotion. Nothing but knowing you loved me too. Just your heart, in exchange for mine.” – Yvaine to Tristran
~ From X-Files ~
“It seems to me that the best relationships, the ones that last, are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship. You know, one day you look at the person and you see something more than you did the night before. Like a switch has been flicked somewhere. And the person who was just a friend is… suddenly the only person you can ever imagine yourself with.” – Dana Scully
~ Insights From Marksmanship ~
by Rev Aviva Sala
“Heather and Steve, while there aren’t many Civil War references that make for good advice as you begin your marriage, there are some principles of competitive shooting that *can* apply as sage words of wisdom.
We know that Marksmanship is mental even more than it is physical, and there are some strategies that we hope you remember over your years, drawn from the sport that brought the two of you together… As the target is on the paper in front of you, your partner should be your focus, where your attention lies. Your marriage should match the natural alignment as a rifle in your arms, without too much push or pull in either direction, a perfect balance. Take a moment to breathe and center yourself, for when worked up, your aim will not be on point and your outcome becomes unpredictable. The care you put into your marriage in order for it to be healthy and lasting love must be constant, controlled and deliberate, much like your trigger control. Success happens with intent, not by accident. And finally, follow-through… the one principle that can alter the outcomes faster than all the others. A lack of follow through can take a winning shot and turn it into a flyer. Make sure to follow through in your marriage, doing what you promise; be consistent and reliable. Allow these principles that taught you to be skilled marskmen continue to teach you to be skilled partners and supporters of each other. And above all, please don’t shoot each other.”
~ Neil Gaiman’s Poem for a Friends Marriage ~
and then neither of you will ever need to be alone again.
~ A Marriage Made For Two ~
“A successful marriage can learn a lot from bicycle riding. You should promise each other that you will not be fair weather riders, but venture out together in the wind and the rain. Only by braving the storms as a team will you reap the rewards when the sunshine arrives.
Look after each other. A well oiled bike will run smoothly and change gear easily. Marriage is like a tandem…keep pedalling or the one at the front shouts at you! You should promise each other to not only enjoy new adventures and explorations, but appreciate the same old routes you know and love.
Marriage is a promise to each other to endure the climbs so that you may chase the swoops and swerves of perfect single track. The journey may be long and may have hills ahead, but if you climb together with love and passion, you will be able to achieve everything you both desire! Wishing you all the best from the start line of the greatest endurance event of your lives. Good luck and may each lap be a great adventure.”
~ “Falling in Love is Like Owning a Dog” ~
by Taylor Mali
“First of all, it’s a big responsibility,
So think long and hard before deciding on love.
On the other hand, love gives you a sense of security:
when you’re walking down the street late at night
and you have a leash on love
ain’t no one going to mess with you.
Because crooks and muggers think love is unpredictable.
Who knows what love could do in its own defense?
On cold winter nights, love is warm.
It lies between you and lives and breaths
and makes funny noises.
Love wakes you up all hours of the night with its needs.
It needs to be fed so it will grow and stay healthy.
Love doesn’t like being left alone for long.
But come home and love is always happy to see you.
It may break a few things accidentally in its passion for life,
but you can never be mad at love for long.
Is love good all the time? No! No!
Love can be bad. Bad, love, bad! Very bad love.
Love makes messes.
Love leaves you little surprises here and there.
Love needs lots of cleaning up after.
Sometimes you just want to get love fixed.
Sometimes you want to roll up a piece of newspaper
and swat love on the nose,
not so much to cause pain,
just to let love know ‘Don’t you ever do that again!’
Sometimes love just wants to go for a nice long walk.
Because love loves exercise.
It runs you around the block and leaves you panting.
It pulls you in several different directions at once,
or winds around and around you
until you’re all wound up and can’t move.
But love makes you meet people wherever you go.
People who have nothing in common but love
stop and talk to each other on the street.
Throw things away and love will bring them back,
again, and again, and again.
But most of all, love needs love, lots of it.
And in return, love loves you and never stops.”
~ Us Two ~
by A A Milne
Wherever I am, there’s always Pooh,
There’s always Pooh and Me.
Whatever I do, he wants to do,
“Where are you going today?” says Pooh:
“Well, that’s very odd ‘cos I was too.
Let’s go together,” says Pooh, says he.
“Let’s go together,” says Pooh.
“What’s twice eleven?” I said to Pooh.
(“Twice what?” said Pooh to Me.)
“I think it ought to be twenty-two.”
“Just what I think myself,” said Pooh.
“It wasn’t an easy sum to do,
But that’s what it is,” said Pooh, said he.
“That’s what it is,” said Pooh.
“Let’s look for dragons,” I said to Pooh.
“Yes, let’s,” said Pooh to Me.
We crossed the river and found a few-
“Yes, those are dragons all right,” said Pooh.
“As soon as I saw their beaks I knew.
That’s what they are,” said Pooh, said he.
“That’s what they are,” said Pooh.
“Let’s frighten the dragons,” I said to Pooh.
“That’s right,” said Pooh to Me.
“I’m not afraid,” I said to Pooh,
And I held his paw and I shouted “Shoo!
Silly old dragons!”- and off they flew.
“I wasn’t afraid,” said Pooh, said he,
“I’m never afraid with you.”
So wherever I am, there’s always Pooh,
There’s always Pooh and Me.
“What would I do?” I said to Pooh,
“If it wasn’t for you,” and Pooh said: “True,
It isn’t much fun for One, but Two,
Can stick together, says Pooh, says he. “That’s how it is,” says Pooh.
~ Sagan & Galileo ~
Carl Sagan wrote,
“Who are we? We find that we live on an insignificant planet of a humdrum star lost in a galaxy tucked away in some forgotten corner of a universe in which there are far more galaxies than people.”
Yet on this little dust mote floating in the eternity of space and time, there exists the curious phenomenon of human awareness that makes it all so terribly personal.
Or, as Galileo put it into perspective:
“The Sun, with all the planets revolving around it, and depending on it, can still ripen a bunch of grapes as though it had nothing else in the Universe to do.”
So it is the way of Love, to the ordinary spectacular.
~ Favorite Disney Quotes ~
with movie tiltes
“So this is love, so this is what makes life divine.” – Cinderella
“All at once everything is different.” – Tangled
“Love is an open door.” – Frozen
“Love is a song that never ends.” – Bambi
“You mean more to me than anyone in this whole wide world.” – Peter Pan
“You’re the best thing I never knew I needed.” – Princess and the Frog
“When I look at you, I can feel it. I look at you, and I’m home.” – Finding Nemo
“We’re simply meant to be.” – Nightmare Before Christmas
“You’ll be in my heart. From this day on, now and forever more.” – Tarzan
“I don’t know when, I don’t know how, but I know something’s starting right now.”
– The Little Mermaid
“All you need is faith and trust, and a little bit of pixie dust.” – Peter Pan
“It don’t take a word, not a single word…”.
Well maybe just these words… I now pronounce you Husband and wife! So..
“Go on and kiss the girl.” – Little Mermaid
Ladies and gentlemen, Mr and Mrs Him and Her Forever!
How do fairy tales end? Come on and say it with me!
“And They Lived Happily Ever After!”
couple kiss again and exit to greet their guests
~ He Never Leaves The Seat Up ~
by Pam Ayres
He never leaves the seat up
Or wet towels upon the floor
The toothpaste has the lid on
And he always shuts the door!
She’s very clean and tidy
Though she may sometimes delude
Leave your things out at your peril
In a second they’ll have moved!
He’s a very active person
As are all his next of kin
Where as she likes lazy days
He’ll still drag her to the gym!
He romances her and dines her
Home cooked dinners and the like
He even knows her favourite food
And spoils her day and night!
She’s thoughtful when he looks at her
A smile upon his face
Will he look that good in 50 years
When his dentures aren’t in place?!
He says he loves her figure
And her mental prowess too
But when gravity takes her over
Will she charm with her IQ?
She says she loves his kindness
And his patience is a must
And of course she thinks he’s handsome
Which in her eyes is a plus!
They’re both not wholly perfect
But who are we to judge
He can be pig headed
Where as she won’t even budge!
All that said and done
They love the time they spent together
And I hope as I’m sure you do
That this fine day will last forever.
He’ll be more than just her husband
He’ll also be her friend
And she’ll be more than just his wife
She’s be his soul mate ‘till the end.
~ “This is Love Monkey” ~
by Edward Monkton
“It was once custom that every monkey would carve for himself a wooden heart. And the heart that love monkey carved was the most beautiful of all. Its contours were soft and rounded, like an ancient pebble sculpted by the oceans. Its surface was smooth and shiny like liquid silk, and it shone as bright as a ruby in the desert sun. “Take your hearts with you wherever you go,” said their teacher. “Nurture them as a mother nurtures her new-born baby. For when you want to give of yourself fully, your heart is the only true gift you will have.”
That night, Love Monkey had a dream. He dreamt of a monkey whose smile lit up his soul like sunshine. He held out his heart to her, so radiant, so splendid and so new. She took him in her arms and he felt truly, perfectly, at peace. When Love Monkey awoke he resolved that, from that day forward, he would search for his Dream Monkey until he could stand before her and give to her his perfect heart.
He traveled through deserts, and climbed over mountains. He trekked across forests, and sailed many oceans. Love Monkey looked after his heart as best he could, but the storms that he endured on his travels chipped away at its surface and each new adventure reshaped it. By the time he arrived on the last distant shore, his heart was so changed by the patina of time that it barely resembled his old heart at all.
And then, he saw her. Standing before him, as radiant and as beautiful as the sunshine, was his Dream Monkey. At first he could not speak. But then, from somewhere deep inside himself, he found a voice. “I have traveled the world to find you, and to give you my heart,” he said. “But now that I am finally with you, I see how foolish I have been. You are so beautiful, so perfect. And my heart that was once smooth, so bright and so new is now not something that I could even bring myself to show you,” and he turned to go. “Let me see it,” said Dream Monkey. She took his heart and held it up to the light. “Nothing to me is more beautiful. Every fissure tells a story. Every blemish makes you more real. All my life I have been waiting for a heart like this; a heart that speaks the truth.” “Come here,” she said. “I have something for you too.” In her hand was a tiny golden heart. It was as worn and as scratched as Love Monkey’s own…and it was the most precious thing that he had ever seen.
Love Monkey put his arms around her and they held each other for a long, long time. “I shall treasure this heart for as long as I live,” said Dream Monkey, running her fingers over its ridged and dimpled surface. Then they looked into each other’s eyes and, feeling the joy of truth in their souls for the first time, they began to laugh. And often they sit together still, holding each other’s hearts in their warm hands, lifting them to the light…and laughing. Always laughing.”
~ Gravitation ~
by Albert Einstein
“Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love. How on earth can you explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love? Put your hand on a stove for a minute and it seems like an hour. Sit with that special girl for an hour and it seems like a minute. That’s relativity.”
~ Firefly, Serenity ~
by Joss Whedon
“You know what the first rule of flying is? …
Love. You can learn all the math in the ‘verse, but you take a boat in the air you don’t love, she’ll shake you off just as sure as the turning of the worlds. Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down, tells you she’s hurting ‘fore she keens. Makes her a home.”
– Malcolm Reynolds
~ The Damsel and the Knight ~
“Once there was a damsel in distress.
She had become a bit of a dragon and it was consuming her.
A knight in shining armour confronted the damsel,
And seeing her reflection in his shiny breastplate,
she realised what a dragon she had become, and she didn’t like it.
In earnest she set about getting the dragon where it belonged and making sense of it.
“You have saved me”, she cried, “Take off your armour that I may kiss you in gratitude”.
“The removal of armour requires assistance”, responded the knight.
So, together they removed the heavy armour and the damsel embraced him warmly.
The knight had never been so warmly touched.
He felt immense relief He felt lighter; less weary; more free.
“That’s how I feel too!” cried the damsel joyfully,
and after some healthy, passionate kisses they had some healthy, passionate children.
They kept the dragon and the armour , which were useful from time to time;
and generally speaking, in their own funny way, they lived quite happily ever after.”
~ “A Lovely Love Story” ~
by Edward Monkton
“The fierce Dinosaur was trapped inside his cage of ice. Although it was cold he was happy in there.
It was, after all, his cage.
Then along came the Lovely Other Dinosaur.
The Lovely Other Dinosaur melted the Dinosaur’s cage with kind words and loving thoughts.
I like this Dinosaur thought the Lovely Other Dinosaur. Although he is fierce he is also tender and he is funny.
He is also quite clever though I will not tell him this for now.
I like this Lovely Other Dinosaur, thought the Dinosaur.
She is beautiful and she is different and she smells so nice.
She is also a free spirit which is a quality
I much admire in a dinosaur.
But he can be so distant and so peculiar at times,
thought the Lovely Other Dinosaur.
He is also overly fond of things.
Are all Dinosaurs so overly fond of things?
But her mind skips from here to there so quickly thought the Dinosaur. She is also uncommonly keen on shopping. Are all Lovely Other Dinosaurs so uncommonly keen on shopping?
I will forgive his peculiarity and his concern for things, thought the Lovely Other Dinosaur. For they are part of what makes him a richly charactered individual.
I will forgive her skipping mind and her fondness for shopping, thought the Dinosaur. For she fills our life with beautiful thoughts and wonderful surprises. Besides, I am not unkeen on shopping either.
Now the Dinosaur and the Lovely Other Dinosaur are old.
Look at them. Together they stand on the hill telling each other stories and feeling the warmth of the sun on their backs.
And that, my friends, is how it is with love.
Let us all be Dinosaurs and Lovely Other Dinosaurs together. For the sun is warm. And the world is a beautiful place.”
~ From Meet Joe Black ~
by Martin Brest
“Love is passion, obsession, someone you can’t live without. If you don’t start with that, what are you going to end up with? Fall head over heels. I say find someone you can love like crazy and who’ll love you the same way back.
And how do you find them?
Forget your head and listen to your heart. I’m not hearing any heart. Run the risk, if you get hurt, you’ll come back. Because, the truth is there is no sense living your life without this.
To make the journey and not fall deeply in love—well, you haven’t lived a life at all. You have to try. Because if you haven’t tried, you haven’t lived.”
~ Reflections From Neil deGrasse Tyson ~
“Recognize that the very molecules that make up your body, the atoms that construct the molecules, are traceable to the crucibles that were once the centers of high mass stars that exploded their chemically rich guts into the galaxy, enriching pristine gas clouds with the chemistry of life. So that we are all connected to each other biologically, to the earth chemically and to the rest of the universe atomically. That’s kinda cool! That makes me smile and I actually feel quite large at the end of that. It’s not that we are better than the universe, we are part of the universe. We are in the universe and the universe is in us.”
“The problem, often not discovered until late in life, is that when you look for things in life like love, meaning, motivation, it implies they are sitting behind a tree or under a rock. The most successful people in life recognize, that in life they create their own love, they manufacture their own meaning, they generate their own motivation. For me, I am driven by two main philosophies, know more today about the world than I knew yesterday. And lessen the suffering of others. You’d be surprised how far that gets you.”
~ “Marriage is Like Hockey ~
by Rev. Marie April Gismondi
“Marriage is like hockey.
The two really do have a lot in common.
The game of life can be seen as two people
Facing Off into the world with your All Star Team
Both take Teamwork,
Letting others Assist, to score Goal after Goal.
But marriage is always having a Two Man Advantage.
Both involve Skating around obstacles,
Avoiding people and situations that could hinder
While in marriage Checking is allowed,
There will be Penalties for Misconduct,
Which could include being sent to the Penalty Box.
And while you know there will be fights…
There is no doubt you will always continue the game
and unlike Hockey…
In marriage you make sure that nobody loses a tooth.
So if you want to hop onto that Zamboni
And ride off into the sunset…
Remember the Stanley Cup is already yours
If you always remember that two promises
Making one last name,
is the Hat Trick of your lives.”
~ Albus Dumbledore Once Said ~
“Wendy and Tina have chosen to conclude their ceremony with a few words of wisdom from Albus Dumbledore.
When it comes to love: “Of course it is happening inside your head… but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?”
When in fact: “You are protected, in short, by your ability to love!”
The: “Differences of habit and language are nothing at all, if our aims are identical, and our hearts are open.”
Because: “Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.”
And so: “It matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be.”
Remembering that: “We are only as strong as we are united, as weak as we are divided.”
Therefore: “Let us step into the night and pursue that flighty temptress, adventure.”
Into our greatest adventure! Never forgetting that fantasy and reality can become one in the same…. if we accept that there is no greater magic and all of the world than that of Love.”
~ William Shakespeare in Klingon ~
Here is Sonnet 116, translated by one of my fabulous grooms, to be read by someone who is familiar with Klingon.
Finally I offer this selection of old and new, used in Bunny & Greg’s wedding ceremony
It begins and ends with the 13th century Persian Poet Rumi and has 2 helpings from George RR Martin’s Game of Thrones in the middle.