~ Sample Memorial Services ~
There is a huge middle ground in between the different styles of service below.
It would be my honor to create a ceremony that is right for your family.
~ Secular Remembrance ~
Eulogies, Readings, Candle Lightings and Special Requests may be added
“I wish that we were all here under more favorable circumstances, but things are both what they
are, and what we will choose to make of them. The best that we can do here tonight is to try to
comfort one another and possibly to gain some insight or understanding that we had not before.
I had the honor of being with Julie and Thomas on their wedding day. And one of the questions
we ask ourselves on days like today is “Would you give up the moment of your greatest joy
never to know your deepest sorrows?”
Never to know pain and loss would mean that we lived a life that had never been blessed with
anything we cared enough for to morn it’s passing. For me never to have truly lived is the worst
Death is a small enough price to pay for having truly lived and loved and made a difference in so
many lives. But how difficult it is for those who will miss the physical presence that we were
blessed to know. The hole that is left in our day to day never quite goes away, but fortunately we
have the memory of all the good times that came before it.
Thomas Markum was a unique and multifaceted individual that all of you here tonight knew a
different aspect of. Now is the time for us to piece together the patchwork quilt that was his life.
To wrap it around our selves and together take comfort in the sharing of stories. To laugh, and to
cry together, and to add another facet to the diamond that was this man.
To try to sum up who a human being was in the short time that our modern rituals take is
impossible. Yet it is our obligation to try this process with something more than we had when it
began. This is perhaps the last chance that those of you who were Thomas’s friends, family and
loved ones will have together. There is a quote that goes; “We are all but actors, cast in the role
of someone else’s perception of ourselves, in the screen play of their lives.” Children will always
see their parents as parents, Parents will always see children as their children, Husbands, wives
sisters, brothers, best friends, all have a different side to share. All of you have a different side of
Tom to share, and tonight we are given the opportunity share these. Do you remember something
he said to you that was uniquely him or that changed your life? Was it a habit or saying that’ll
stick in your head and remind you of him? What was his favorite color? Did he have one? Does
anyone know these things? Please, I invite you to come and tell us all a story of who Tom
uniquely was to you, and lets let the healing begin.
~ Christian Grave Side ~
“Eternal God, let your presence rest upon us as we give thanks for
Stephen Hernson’s life. We thank you for the days that you gave him and for
the blessing that he was to his family and friends. May his memory
live long among those who love him and be a source of strength to
them. May it help them to find the courage to face the changes that
life presents as we go on from here, grateful to have known Stephen.
Grant those who most deeply feel this loss the comfort of your
presence. Enable each of us here today the ability to minister to one
another through the difficult times, with the comfort and
consolation, the laughter and joy, that the memory of all the good
times shall bring. This we ask through our Lord Jesus Christ who
lives and reigns with You in the unity of the Holy Spirit one God for
ever and ever, Amen.
As Christians we are taught to embrace our suffering. A life that
knows no pain or loss would be the emptiness of a life never blessed
with anything worth while enough to morn it`s loss. We are also
taught to celebrate the risen Lord, and the Bible offers us much
comfort by assuring us that Heaven awaits us.
John’s Gospel 14:2 reminds us;
“In my Father’s house are many mansions;…
I go to prepare a place for you”
We are told in 1st Corinthians 2:9;
“Eye has not seen, nor ear heard,
Nor have entered into the heart of man
The things which God has prepared
for those who love Him”
Today I would like to read to you a passage that we hear less often.
It is from the Gospel of Luke 10:38-42
“Now as they went on their way, he entered a certain village, where a
woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. She had a sister named
Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to what he was saying.
But Martha was distracted by her many tasks; so she came to him and
asked, `Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to do all
the work by myself? Tell her then to help me.’ But the Lord answered
her, `Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things;
there is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part,
which will not be taken away from her.”
The story of Martha and Mary is more than a story of two sisters who
lived two thousand years ago in a far off land. It is a warning to us
about the duality of human nature. In our modern world the quest for
the brass ring pulls hard on us all, and the definition of success is
often weighed in the material rather than the spiritual context of
our lives. Time is something that we measure out in increments and
allot to those in our lives, often in little accordance with how
irreplaceable and precious they themselves are to us. But I ask you,
what good is a mansion that is not filled with love and joy? In the
story of Martha and Mary we are reminded that the only things we may
truly own, are the gifts of the spirit. Mary knew that Jesus would
only be with them for a short time. So she savored and drank in of
every moment they had with him. Mary would forever remember how her
time with Jesus touched her heart. Martha on the other hand set a
beautiful table. These monuments here are all symbols of the
affection surviving in the hearts of the families and friends who
loved these people. But those who had these stones carved, did they
feel that they were able to give as generously of their time and of
their spirits as they would have had they known there wouldn’t be a
tomorrow? Stephen Hernson lives not here among these acres of strangers
His spirit dwells in each of you and wants to be celebrated as the love
that you share for one another, as a part of the continuing and daily
celebration of the life that you each have been given. His spirit
dwells in the mansions of heaven where the all encompassing light of God’s
love shines on him through what we perceive as day and night. For he who
had now glimpsed eternity, you will all be joined in what seems the
blink of an eye. Yet for you there is still work and play, tears of
sorrow and tears of joy. There may come days when you want nothing
more than to just be with him again, but there will also be those
days that hold in them life’s little miracles, where you can’t
believe how blessed you are just to be you. And when it is God’s will
that all of those days have come to pass, then shall you all together
dwell in the light of God’s love.
May the Lord be with you all
And also with you
Let us now bow our heads in prayer,
Heavenly father we come to you on this bitter sweet day
Certain that the soul of Steven Hernson rests in your embrace
We ask that you look mercifully
upon those gathered here and lift their grief
That they may look beyond it, to see the many blessings
That so abundantly grace all of their lives
We thank you for the gift of family and for the knowledge
That in your kingdom of everlasting life
There shall be eternal reunion and the joy of completion
This we pray to you through our Lord Jesus Christ
who lives and reigns with You in the unity of the Holy Spirit one God
for ever and ever, Amen.
I leave you today with the simple message that God, and I am sure
Stephen, would want you to hear. I ask you to love one another in their
~ Concetta, Connie, Lamattina ~
Often people like to see a wake as what they now call a “Celebration of Life”.
Honestly I don’t even know why we still call it a Wake…
nobody ever gets back up again now that we have started embalming…
or maybe it’s more like the wake of a boat…
the imprint, the pattern, the change that is made by a human being
who is simply following their course.
The ongoing celebration of Connie’s life is in your DNA.
It is in your faces, your bone structure, your laughter and your tears.
Today we are here to honor and remember Concetta, Connie, Lamattina
who enjoyed 94 years on this earth.
Her story actually begins in 1920. Her parents, John and Carmella Sandalena, were in love. The feelings of joy and fear, when they heard Carmella was pregnant, were much the same as when everyone with a child first heard the news. I have no doubt they prayed for not only, fingers and toes, but for life itself. This was a time, when women often didn’t survive complications, and infant mortality rates were still high. But on April 19, 1921, Connie was born, and she was perfect. Her parents probably traced the little pink seashell of an ear and marveled in wonder and gratitude. In a time when a child’s night time prayers included “if I die before I wake, a pray the Lord my soul to take” Connie was one of 5 thriving children. Those outstanding nurturing skills and good genes, are part of the birthright that, later in life, was Connie’s to pass on.
She had three sisters, Josephine, Carmella (who Connie is now with) and Caroline.
She had one brother Nicholas who is married to her lifelong friend Rita.
Connie was married to Joseph Lamattina for more than 30 years.
He passed in 1982 and today there is a sense that they are finally reunited.
Together they had a son, Richard
and in so doing experienced the awe and wonder of the generation before.
Richard married Christine, and they gave Connie her grandchildren,
James, Michael, Matthew, and Danielle.
Matt is married to Denise, Danielle is married to Robert.
Matt and Denise gave Connie two great-granddaughters, Roxie and Melody.
Danielle and Robert gave her great-granddaughter Juliana.
She leaves behind many nieces and nephews, and I am told
that Connie adored each and every one of these children more than anything on this earth.
It is hard not to marvel, that we are lucky enough to live in a time,
when our children can be held in their Great-Grandparents hearts and arms.
At events such as tonight these names and relations are usually recited almost like a role call.
We do this as a stark and unequivocal reminder that this person BELONGED to us.
Life starts the same for us all and how we touch those around us shape our personal world.
Connie made her world a better place, and a bright spot in it, has now gone dark.
Eulogy delivered by Connie’s Grandson Matthew
Invitation to share memories and stories
Description of “Connie’s Corner” the reading program started in her name
In French “I miss you” literally translates to “You are missing from me”.
It is a far more accurate representation
of the universal feeling of profound sorrow, that loss inspires.
The phone calls, the insights, the family gatherings,
from all these Connie will be greatly missed.
Yet life only moves in one direction, so we move forward, in appreciation and gratitude,
for being among those blessed to have been left behind in Connie’s wake.
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